Thursday 13 #2

Thirteen Things Marital Communication Tips The other person can't read your mind, so you should tell the person what you are thinking. Approach the other person when you are both calm and relaxed, so the other person will be more likely to listen to what you have to say. Speaking of listening, perhaps the best way to communicate is to just listen, without being judgmental, and witholding all comments until the other person is finished talking. If you cannot tell the person something face-to-face, try writing a letter, but be prepared for the other person to bring it up in conversation. You really should not be afraid to tell your partner anything. People who marry should be the best of friends, and should trust each other unconditionally. If you have doubts about your partner or his/her behaviors, talk to your partner first. Then seek outside help from an unbiased third party. (Your family and friends might not be the best choice to give you relationship advice.) Arguing is not communicating. Although the old adage, "Never go to bed angry" is a good one, it may be impossible in reality. If you do have an argument that extends into the next day, try to work things out when you are both rested, relaxed, and calm. Clearly describe your expectations. If you expect your spouse to pick up after him/herself, be sure to tell the person that is what you expect. Otherwise, you'll be picking up after the person and resenting it. If you have an agreement on splitting the housework, do not go nuts when the spouse "gets around to it eventually." If you want things a certain way, then do them yourself, but don't get mad or resentful that you have to do them all the time. Again, communicate your expectations. Learn to compromise. Don't expect to get your own way all the time. If you are frustrated and can't seem to find relief, seek therapy. A spouse cannot make you happy. You have to be happy within yourself. Don't repeat things over and over. Your spouse probably heard you the first time. Forgiveness goes a long way.

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